good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
