JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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