Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
