I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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