Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
