just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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