But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
