If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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