Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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