She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
