i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
