I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
