i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
