so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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