Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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