Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
