This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
