using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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