I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
