So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
