How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Someone came in the potted fern
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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