I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
