I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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