You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
