do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
