I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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