Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
