Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
