In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize