We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
