I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
