am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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