No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
