for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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