You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
