I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
