i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
