it wasn't lemon gatorade
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
