Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize