i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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