so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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