whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
