Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
