These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
