Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
