32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
