umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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