happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
