Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
