we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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