I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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