I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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