i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
