nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
