playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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