hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
