that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
