Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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