you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize