i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
