I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
