Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
